-Impact-
The weather has finally beaten me. No matter what I do, living in central Illinois reeks havoc on me physically. With the constant weather changes, allergy attacks and colds come very easily. Luckily I was able to sing at every worship service before the sore throat kicked in. It's finally starting to lesson but until it's gone, I'll feel completely drained. I wonder why that is.
So as I was saying, God held off everything until all the weekend services were over. We just celebrated our first weekend service in our new church building and it was awesome! Luckily, I got to be a part of it. It took me a long time before I felt comfortable enough joining the worship team but I really enjoy it. Besides me, there is only one other black worship team member and so I often get comments about how nice it is to see me up front singing. Until now, I thought that my skin color was the only reason people enjoyed seeing me sing. I have to admit that I like representing the few black people in our church. Our sister church is predominantly black and so I know that most people in the congregation wish we were more diverse.
There is however, one guy who always makes sure I know that he enjoys me singing and that I help lead him to worship. It was strange the first time I talked with him because it caught me completely off guard and I didn't know how to take it. I mean, I don't think that I do anything special and because I am aware of the type of congregation we have, I kind of hold myself back a little. You know, realizing that it not just about me and God when I am singing with the team but about me also helping bring others into a place of worship. But I never thought that it was actually impacting others. Gradually, other people starting saying things to me as well. Still, I wondered if it was really because of my skin color. But yesterday, the same guy sought me out after the first service and let me know that he once again appreciated my presence. I was talking to two other people at the time so I felt slightly embarrassed but encouraged none the less. Then he said something to me that I still can't get out of my head. He told me that besides his wife, I am by far his favorite worship leader. I didn't know what to say. He said he wanted to make sure that I understood what I do for him when I help lead.
Now, I have to make sure that my ego gets checked at the door because the last thing I want to do is have any compliment get in the way of me being authentic. But something tells me that I can not overlook the impact that God wants to make through me. See to me, I am just up there singing and having fun because I love to do it and because it really is my way of serving God and the church He has placed me with. But maybe that's the point. Yesterday I had a lot of people tell me that I just look like I am really having fun when I sing. And I think, "Don't you have fun when you are doing whatever it is you do for God?" But for the first time, I am starting to realize that there are a few people who sing or play and just look as if they could do without. Like, they can sing/play well so maybe they should just do it. But what does that communicate to the rest of the congregation? I have to admit that my favorite worship people are those who really seem to enjoy what they are doing. And I have a feeling, that God has a lot more room to work with when we enjoy the gifts and talents that he gave us and not just see it as an obligation. So I guess my prayer is that I can continue being me so that He can continue doing what He seems to do best.
Song of the day: You Get Me
by Michelle Branch (yeah, I know it's a repeat but it what's playing in my soul)
shawanda
12:02 PM
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