::this beautiful mess::

-An Affair to Remeber-
.
I have finally begun practices for my dramatic debut at church. The placement of this drama in the service I can leave for another post. A lot to say there. This time however, I would like to focus on something that almost shames me. No, it's not the many things I thought I might have trouble with. Since I am a little rusty in the acting department, I figured that learning the lines would be my biggest problem. Maybe it would be closely followed by my fear that I just can't act. But alas, it has come to my attention, that I have forgotten how to be free.
.
Most of the movement in this sketch is to seem unhindered and free. There are even a few lines where I am required to twirl about or move in a way that I would have had no problem doing as a child. The twirling is only done by me and another girl and we both seem to have problems making it look natural. Our director seems to think that most of it is caused by the scripts still in our hands and the uncertainty of what are blocking is. But I know that it goes deeper than that. I mean, I can feel myself feeling awkward and graceless as I whirl and twirl on stage. And this just blows my mind. I mean, I was a dancer for pete's sake! And though my specialty was Hip-Hop, doing it properly was all about free expression and taking the steps and making them your own. It seems somehow that I have forgotten how to do that. I have become a woman who needs more structure, and more direction. I have become more reserved. When did this happen?
.
This makes me think of what I would say is my favorite poem. I never posted an entry in response to Josh's challenge to name three of your favorite poems (partly because I couldn't think of three). But today I ran across an old journal entry where I talked about my favorite line in the book that soon became my favorite childhood novel.
.
"I will go to the bank by the wood and become undisguised and naked,
I am mad for it to be in contact with me."
.
The line is a quote from Song of Myself by Walt Whitman. One of the main characters in The Wind Blow Backwards was madly in love with Whitman so there are lines and quotes from his favorite Whitman poems all throughout the book. During the many times I read and reread that book, I too began to fall in love with Song of Myself. And I think in light of everything, it just seems perfectly fitting to me. I shall think upon it as I retrain myself to become free and twirl.
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P.S. For those of you who don't have the ability to listen to my song of they day, click here for the lyrics. It really sums up what I want to say.
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Song of the day: Field of Flowers
by Sixpence None the Richer
shawanda
spewed
1:31 PM
---++--- 3 expressions

Comments:
The rest of the drama seems to be going really well. The only thing I would change is the fact that it is at the very beginning of the service. They did this to motivate people to come to the services on time. The theory is that if people start finding out that they could really miss cool stuff when they show up late, then maybe it will decrease the tardiness. But by doing so (and not really saying a whole lot about it), only a small handful of people are actual going to see the skit. That kinda bums me out.

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