-It's My Birthday. . .Lucky Me-
.Every year I find myself dreading my birthday. For whatever reason, I stopped enjoying my birthday at the age of 20. Maybe it was 19. Each time September 8 rolls around I am either depressed (and never about my age), sick, too financially strapped to consider
doing anything, or a combination of the three. The day before and after my birthday might be the best days of my life. But from 12AM - 11:59PM September 8, things never seem to go well for me. It just seemed useless to look forward to a day that would inevitably let me down.
.Looking back, my 20's as a whole have been pretty interesting. They say your 20's are spent finding yourself and it has certainly been that way for me. And though I must admit that I love the sound of being "20-something," going through my 20's has definitely left me with a few scars. It's been a long and hard road and I guess it's only fitting that my birthdays were greeted with hesitation.
.That was until I decided that this year, my last year as a 20-something, should go out with a bang. I don't know what I was expecting this year but I wanted to actually
enjoy my birthday. And not just my birthday. I've decided that I am going to usher in 30 with a fantastic year. I'm going to try new things, take chances, fulfill dreams, and make sure that I am treating myself well - physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I am going to take all of the things I have learned (mostly the hard way) this past 9 - 10 years, and really live a life that is true to me.
.Well, the jury is still out on whether my birthday was actually different this year. (Yes, I did have a moment tonight where I cried about the disappointment of it all. I think I have a problem with setting my expectations a little high.) BUT, I have already kicked-off this year with great success. So, in honor of my last year as a 20-something, I decided to make a list of things that are making this year special. Things that will not make me dread turning 30 but instead, remind me that it is good to be me.
.* Though I may be 29, I am still often mistaken for someone just entering her 20's. Better yet, I often walk around with little to no make-up on but never look "plain." Boy am I learning to love the skin I'm in!
..* I have actually stretched myself by learning to play the bass. And might I say that it is wild!.* I have people in my life who love and care about me..* I have found a job that lets me operate on my own terms (and it seems to be getting better each year.).* I have overcome some of my biggest fears, which has reconnected me to things like drama and singing. Big steps for me..* I recently had a conversation with the Act 3 director concerning my Haunted post. During this conversation, it became very evident that not only does he think I'm talented and worth having as part of this ministry, but he actually respects me as a person. Know what I mean? Besides family and super close friends, I don't think I have ever walked away from someone knowing they felt that way about me. Especially someone I consider to be older and wiser. Completely blows my mind. This by far has been the best birthday gift this year..* I have a good Christian husband who truly thinks I am the most beautiful person in the world..* I am finally beginning to understand the way God has created me and am finding joy in it..So I think I've got a pretty good start to an awesome year. I am determined to make it memorable. It's exciting to think about dreams and passions that I am already living out. It encourages me to see growth within myself. It humbles me to think about the ways God still wants to blow my mind and use me for things too big for me to comprehend. Whether 29 or 89 - may we all live this year with wild abandon and to its fullest!
shawanda
9:42 PM
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